Hope

Heres to us one more toast and then well pay the bill
Deep inside both of us can feel the autumn chill
Birds of passage, you and me
We fly instinctively
When the summers over and the dark clouds hide the sun
Neither you nor Im to blame when all is said and done
In our lives we have walked some strange and lonely treks
Slightly worn but dignified and not too old for sex
Were still striving for the sky
No taste for humble pie
Thanks for all your generous love and thanks for all the fun
Neither you nor Im to blame when all is said and done
Its so strange when youre down and lying on the floor
How you rise, shake your head, get up and ask for more
Clear-headed and open-eyed
With nothing left untried
Standing calmly at the crossroads, no desire to run
Theres no hurry any more when all is said and done
~Abba

It was one of those lanquid days that naturally drew one to the stream. I'd been walking the banks letting my palm skim across the top of giani-tail willows simply to set them to motion. Apparently I was not the only one to take advantage of such a lure, I found Silken there perched on the bank fishing.

About the same time I started to speak she hooked an unusually large one that came sailing through the air to land smack dab in the middle of my chest. It made me all wriggly too, trying to get a good hold on the creature. Since the woman doesn't eat the watery beasts, we made a trade. Wily would clean and fillet the fish and bring them to exchange for vulo. My pens had become quite prolific. More than once I muttered in passing the feathered things telling them it was not fair they got more errrr 'excitement' than I did and they had multitudes of little feathered things to prove it.

I was pointing at her line where she got another bite while we talked and yes pointing is rude unless you're fishing, then it is mandatory if someone's line goes under. It surprised me that it was Shi that had to bring meat for Silk's wagons since she hadn't had time to hunt. I was glad he was looking after her though. I was glad to see the smiles nd the laughter from the healer as well. It had been far too long since I saw that beautiful face light up. Somewhere deep insde it seemed criminal that it was not always shining with happiness and the joys of life. Iffn ya don't laugh, ya cry. Those words hung in the air and I wanted so much to be able to pluck them out and crush them between my fingers so they would not hold any truth.

A shadow fell across the stream and when we looked up it was Seth riding in. His approach came with ten other men. Just one look said something was terribly amiss. Come .. Jort has fallen in battle. Word was sent to the camp of where we were going and Silk drew me up on the back of her mount. Enu hurried to gather medical packs and off into the horizon we rode as fast as we could.

The outpost was a scene of chaos that our arrival seemed apart and distant from. Fifty dead, one hundred wounded. I slid from the mount and began tending what wounds I could. The drawn look of grief I saw on faces everywhere was haunting to me though none of it seemed to touch my own soul. I knew none of these people except that some were of Tuchuk blood and that one among them had pulled Silk through many dangers. For that he had gained respect in having saved the friend I now stood beside .. a sister.

Flames from the pyres rose diminishing to plumes of smoke and I watched for a while. The fallen warrior's woman stood close to Seth and Silk and I couldn't help noticing .. how frail she seemed against the backdrop of the plains. Then .. Seth was gone. I think it was anger that he left as he did that kept my tongue silent on the ride back to camp. Right or wrong, it will be a long time before I forgive him. I knew Silk's silence came from the grief she herself would let no one see.

It was the quiet conversation on the steps of her wagon when we returned that I mulled over for a long while afterward. It takes a special kind of woman to survive here among the plains. Before I returned to my own wagon to wash up, I drew the woman into an embrace, perhaps because she needed it, perhaps because I did.

She is one of those special kind of women and knowing her gave me strength to be one as well.

When I rounded the end of the Midnight row ... Sage was standing there with Orachu. I lit up at first with excitement then screamed and sank to my knees with the weight of dispair. I was still whispering a mantra when he carried me into the wagon. Please dear skies let their be hope ... hope .... hope.