Just Ride

Someday we'll put it together and we'll get all done
Someday your head is much lighter
Someday we'll walk in the race of a beautiful sun
Someday when the world is much brighter
Ooh child, things are gonna get easier
Ooh child, things will get brighter
Ooh child, things are gonna get easier
Ooh child, things will get brighter
Nina Simone

According to physics, a body in motion stays in motion. That is my explanation of why I wanted to saddle Sin, kick my heels and just ride wide open as fast as I could toward the horizon and leap off the edge like the world was flat. Maybe I would enjoy the free fall like a bungee jump despite the fact there was no rubber band to stop me. Maybe that was why when Duran, Sage and Petra were speaking of traveling to a caravan for trade I jumped at the chance to go with them.

I was still toying with that ride into the horizon idea when I settled in around the fires. The one constant in my world besides those of the Midnight Wagons is Ramza. He walks or rides with me on the trails. He will stop by the wagons just to see if I need anything and late ahns are often spent just talking together. We talk of everything and anything. Sometimes he talks so much I can barely get a word in edgewise, sometimes it is the other way around. Regardless of who is running their mouth, his ways are often calming. I told him I was thinking of going to the cities, going out over the plains ... somewhere .. anywhere. I told him everything except the jumping off the edge part and he simply said, he would miss me. I asked if he ever felt like that .. just riding without ever looking back. Sometimes. Well, what did he do about it? His uncomplicated answers go straight through the heart. He said relaxes and realizes that right now, here is where he belongs. How do you argue with that kind of logic?

The gentle kiss that followed both told me that he would indeed miss me and at the same time it scared me. The last man that had done such had only wanted to see me in steel. I hadn't realized I spoke those thoughts aloud. Ramza almost seemed angry even though the touch of his fingers were like velvet when he brushed strands off my temple back where they belonged. If he had wanted me in steel, didn't I think he would have done that by now? Straight to the point pure honesty, something I had not seen from a man since coming here. When I confessed that what hurt most was not being able to trust anyone anymore, I asked him to forgive me for making him part of the collective. He didn't deserve that. His answer was to reach for my hand and turn it to press a kiss to my palm. I stared at where our hands met for a long time before he walked me back to my wagon and asked me to return from the caravan safely.

It was a leap of faith deciding that this was one of the few people I could actually put my trust in. Somewhere in all of that, we made plans to ride out to the flower meadow that I had wanted to visit again. It surprised me that he remembered it but I would ask Kam if it would be alright.